I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
