sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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