He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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