I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
