Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
