dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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