I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
