just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
