I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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