when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
