It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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