I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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