i'm signing you up for texting rehab
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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