The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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