Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
