Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
