You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
