My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
