Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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