I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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