I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
