you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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