thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
