Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
