i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
