I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
