we should wear snuggies to the strip club
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
