she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
