Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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