She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
