Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
