Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Enjoy the penises
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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