Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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