Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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