she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
