i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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