It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
