she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
