So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
