Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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