I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
