Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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