yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We had sex on a dog bed..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
