Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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