I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
