i jhust puked up my retainher.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
