everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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