butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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