I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
