so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
