Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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