i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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