I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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