oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
they need to just BURY HIM!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The air was thick with penises
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
