It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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