what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
